While delving into my research for this article, I encountered numerous things described as “better than sex,” leading me to ponder why anyone still bothers with anything else…
With sliced bread being around for many years now, the phrase “it’s the best thing since sliced bread” seems to have lost its impact. The new ultimate comparison now is that something is “better than sex.”
Certainly, some individuals prioritize food over sex, so I suppose in certain cases, sliced bread might indeed be considered better than sex… Intrigued? Keep reading!
1. Housework?
These are the findings from a survey of two thousand women conducted for the National Housework Survey of Great Britain 2006. According to the Independent Daily, “even in an era where women are making significant strides economically and excelling in the workplace, many find a sense of empowerment in a thorough cleaning session around the house—coupled with some dusting and tidying.”
It seems these women are likely not the ones who find Mr. Muscle or the Brawny paper towel guy the slightest bit distracting. Who wouldn’t appreciate a “good go around” with one of these guys?
2. Weight Loss
According to a survey conducted at AOLHealth.com, 26% of participating moms would prefer to “lose 10 pounds” over “having more sex”. An even larger percentage, 30%, indicated they would rather “make more money”. This preference isn’t surprising, considering that being a mom doesn’t come with a paycheck.
3. Dating A Vampire
Fans of the book or the movie Twilight understand the forbidden allure of falling for a vampire. In this romantic saga, the stakes are high—quite literally—as any intimacy with your vampire boyfriend might lead to fatal consequences in a passionate moment.
But despite the risks, it’s all worth it for his irresistible charm—he’s incredibly handsome, drives a luxurious car, and even sparkles in the sunlight (every teen girl’s weakness for glitter, right?).
Sure, there are some quirks you have to overlook. Like how he might sneak into your bedroom to watch you sleep all night. Or how he can be condescending, emotionally distant, and a bit sarcastic. Oh, and did I mention his icy cold touch, dark past involving murder, and his family’s natural thirst for human blood?
But none of that matters because, Mom, he’s just so dreamy!
4. Sleep
According to the Sleep Well website affiliated with Stanford University, there are several humorous reasons why some people might consider sleep superior to sex. For example, sleep can offer a satisfying eight hours or more of rest, and during sleep, one can theoretically have romantic encounters with anyone they desire.
In a study reported by The Independent, conducted by the Edinburgh Sleep Centre, nearly 80% of Britons surveyed expressed a preference for a good night’s sleep over sexual activity. Out of over 8,500 participants, 79.2% admitted to favoring the idea of getting extra sleep rather than engaging in sex.
This preference for sleep over sex could potentially lead to a win-win situation: prioritizing sleep at night may result in increased energy levels for various activities during the day—hint, hint.
5. In Vitro Fertilization (IVF)
On the opposite end of the reproductive spectrum, consider the advantages of IVF over natural conception when aiming to conceive. Why leave it to chance with the genetic lottery of lovemaking when you can engage in embryo selection through in vitro fertilization (IVF)? IVF offers the option of Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD), a technique highlighted by William Saleton in Slate.com as a method to screen out embryos with potential genetic defects. Initially used for identifying embryos at risk of fatal infant diseases and limited to high-risk couples, PGD has expanded to include criteria such as gender and non-fatal disorders.
Looking ahead, the future possibilities of embryo selection could encompass traits like hair color, IQ, athleticism, and more. For practical and financially capable individuals, the appeal of creating a custom-designed child through IVF becomes evident. Why opt for the uncertainty of natural reproduction when you can ensure a tailored offspring? But amid these advancements, one must ponder: Is it fair to introduce naturally conceived children into a world where genetically optimized “super kids” may dominate?
6. Cell Phones
According to a survey by Dial-a-Phone, a cell phone retailer in the UK, 24 percent of women indicated they would rather give up sex for a month than part with their mobile phone. This statistic isn’t surprising, as many women may have realized that a cell phone can sometimes be more dependable than a partner, regardless of gender preference.
Unlike partners, cell phones don’t require meals to be prepared for them; instead, they facilitate food delivery at your command. You can silence or ignore a phone without worrying about hurt feelings. A phone is always ready to use with its long-lasting energy or replaceable battery. It won’t mind if you chat during a basketball game or prefer to watch “Pride and Prejudice” for the umpteenth time.
Your phone’s call history remains accessible, providing insight into who’s been contacting you. It silently witnesses your lengthy conversations with friends and refrains from making snarky remarks afterward. Need directions? Just ask your phone—it won’t hesitate to assist.
In the car, a phone doesn’t criticize your driving skills. With T9 mode, it predicts your messages, hanging on to every word you type. And if you feel lonely, there’s always the handy vibrate mode to keep you connected.
7. Music
Findings from a survey conducted by Marrakesh Records reveal that music holds immense importance among young adults. A substantial 60% of 16-24 year-olds stated they would choose to go without sex for a week rather than give up music. Among 16-19 year-olds, this preference increases even further to 70%.
Given these statistics, one might humorously suggest a novel approach to addressing teen sex and abstinence issues: perhaps the RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) could focus its efforts on prosecuting pregnant teens and their partners for illegally downloading music. This tongue-in-cheek proposal imagines that such a strategy might be more effective than Bristol Palin’s Abstinence Campaign in reducing teen pregnancies—though it could inadvertently lead to an uptick in music piracy.
5. Sports
The term “better than sex” is often humorously applied to various activities that provide intense pleasure or satisfaction, comparable to an orgasm. For instance, sports enthusiasts have compiled lists humorously contrasting sports with sexual experiences:
Sports are celebrated for reasons like:
– The thrill of scoring and the cheers that follow.
– Players have the freedom to switch teams after their contract ends.
– The consistency of a full season of games.
– The communal experience of watching games at local bars.
– Extended durations, sometimes including overtime.
– The presence of coaches on the sidelines.
– Highlights and action replays.
– The reusable nature of protective equipment.
Specific sports also get their own humorous comparisons:
– Soccer fans joke about being “on top” for most of the game but still potentially losing.
– Hockey fans appreciate the strategic two-on-one or three-on-one plays and the short, intense periods.
– Jugglers jest about being able to perform in front of anyone, including their grandma, without needing a partner and making light of “blue balls.”
These comparisons, while tongue-in-cheek, reflect the passionate devotion people have toward sports and their willingness to humorously elevate them to a level akin to or surpassing sexual experiences.
3. Food
Food can triumph over sex in numerous ways. Perhaps most notably, you can indulge in it alone or order it in without facing judgment from anyone else…
For instance, Cooks.com boasts a staggering 326 recipes for “Better Than Sex Cake,” with an additional entry for “Almost Better Than Sex Cake.” One can only speculate if the creator of the latter recipe has truly compared both.
If cookies are more your style, there’s even a recipe out there for “Better Than Sex Cookies.”
And have you ever heard anyone say, “eat your brains out”? Unlike sex, many foods are actually beneficial for brain health. According to CNN, research from Wheeling Jesuit University in West Virginia suggests that chocolate can enhance memory, attention span, reaction time, and problem-solving abilities.
Still skeptical? Consider the cognitive effects of having sex on the brain, which can lead to forgetfulness, distraction, and impaired clarity of thought.
Moreover, chocolate is known to be an aphrodisiac, meaning opting for chocolate over sex might just result in enjoying both in the end…
1. The Internet
According to a recent research article “The Internet: Better than having Sex?”, an Intel-sponsored survey revealed that a significant number of people prioritize internet access over sexual activity. Specifically, 46 percent of women and 30 percent of men indicated they would rather abstain from sex for two weeks than go without internet access during the same period. Among women aged 18 to 34, this preference rises to 49 percent, and it reaches a staggering 52 percent among those aged 35 to 44 (wi-fiplanet.com).
The article outlines several reasons why the internet holds such importance:
Staying Connected: It allows people to maintain relationships with family and friends.
Convenient Shopping: Online shopping offers efficiency and ease.
Managing Finances: It provides better control over personal and financial activities through various online services.
Certainly, making similar claims about your sex life would likely lead to some raised eyebrows and perhaps a bit of trouble!
